The mystery solved: Dr. Hake brings the Viking Empire to Lake Bob

(An ASE.)

The Viking Empire Strikes Back

I would like to invite you all to enjoy a pleasant late afternoon and early evening of boating on our own Lake Bob the day after tomorrow. Let us celebrate the close of classes and take a short breather before the final umph of exams.

You might want to prepare specifically for one event (to be held, probably, around six o’clock), a "race" of sorts from one end of the pond to the other. Contestants will be judged not simply on how fast (or whether) they reach the other end, but also on ferocity of face paint, creativity of headgear and overall costume, and, of course, the originality of their "boat." Our definition of boat is quite broad, but it must be something that keeps most of you out of the water most of the time. I myself will be riding an alligator.

Mr. Cox will also be taking a picture of us (from a window of Red Hill, probably also around six o’clock) on the pond. We would like to get as much of the student body as we can on the pond at once for this picture. So come looking your best (!).

There will also be a "zip-line" for the more adventurous that will drop people into the pond. So, ladies, be sure your denture adhesive is fresh, and, gents, give some thought to those toupees. In fact, you will want to either remove all removable body parts or be sure they are fastened securely before you go down.

Ice cream will be served.

We will be giving rides on a small sailboat (whether permitting). If you are a good sailor and would like to help with this, please see me. We will also be giving rides on a small train of three rafts. We are hoping we can find a jet ski/wave runner to serve as locomotive (slow speed! You want zip, go down the line!). If any of you know of one we could borrow for light duty use, please let me know. If not, I would like to ask several of you with pretty good upper body strength to pull the rafts with a kayak. (You are welcome to go as fast as you want!)

If you have or can borrow a small craft (kayak, canoe, rubber raft) please bring it. We are requiring all non-swimmers to wear life jackets when on the water. (Do you know how deep Lake Bob really is?!? Or what lurks in its depths…) So please bring one if you have or can borrow one. For the desperate, Walmart sells a wide variety of "boats" for almost nothing.

Note: this is a boating/zipping, not swimming, event. The stuff in Lake Bob is not exactly water, and prolonged exposure (not to mention ingestion) may cause lower body parts to destabilize. So, shorts and shirts are fine. No bathing suits.

Please pray for God’s blessing on this event, for good weather, and for safety!