Saturday, August 31, 2013

Cleaning up

The other night Meg put some serious elbow grease into helping me scrub crayon and marker marks off the furnishings. She really got into it. I appreciated the help, and even more appreciated that she noticed "This is really hard work!"

I was putting out a fresh bath mat, and noticed a disgusting brown stain on it. Sigh. It had been washed thoroughly, but I figured I'd better go alert Jonathan that it was okay to use. He and Meg were playing horsie, or possibly Meg was playing horsie while he read. It's hard to tell sometimes. Anyway, I delivered the message, and Meg leaped down like I'd offered ice cream.

"Can I see the disgusting brown stain, Mommy?? I fell off the horsie to come look at it!"

So I went and led a guided tour.

There's just so much to learn in this world. For instance, the nuance between using a tissue and a shirt-tail when your nose needs wiping. We were at the store waiting to return something as I tried to explain this, and added keep your shirt down to keep it out of temptation's way! The clerk looked at me, startled, and said, "Did you really just say that??" Clearly he's not raising a small person if this is a surprise. Then he asked if "latent congratulations" were due, apparently referring to my maternal state. I could have asked if he was calling me fat and burst into tears... but I didn't. I admitted yes, they were, and he said, "Oh good! I guessed right!" He also offered us a box of tissues, which was more helpful.

This morning we were at a friend's house and Meg spilled her drink. One of the grownups said maybe she'd better come get me and we'd find paper towels to clean it up. Meg, seeing no need for anything so formal, sat down on the spill and wiped it up with her shorts. Problem solved.

Then I took my first bubble bath in a long time. It was a very nice bath, only I displaced more water than I remember. Quite a lot more, actually. Archimedes' principle strikes again!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

In which I do not sneak

Happy last Sunday before Labor Day, everyone! I thought it deserved a particularly summery outfit for church, so I put on my lime green maxi dress with the orange flowers and the blue and purple and yellow bits, and added an orange purse and turquoise earrings and shoes for extra beauty. When your bump is as big as mine, there's no point in going subtle. Meg wore a hot pink dress today and her stompiest dress shoes, so we were a great pair.

My favorite conversation of the morning was with Deb, a mom with older kids. We talked for a bit and then I said I needed to sneak out and grab someone before the music started.

"Not in that dress, you're not sneaking anywhere."

Aw, man! Floor-length lime green isn't sneaky?!

Then after, when I moved back into my row, I kind of slightly ran over Meg with her sister, who was sticking out further than I realized. I think my sneaking days are officially over.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

There are tyrannosaurs and then there are brontosauruses

This afternoon Meg handed me her dry erase board and requested that I draw her a dinosaur.

"Why don't you draw a dinosaur?"
"I don't know how!"

That seemed like a pretty good reason, so I drew her a brontosaurus. Those are within my artistic abilities, but Meg wailed because it wasn't a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

"You didn't ask for a tyrannosaurus! You asked for a dinosaur, and I gave you a dinosaur!"
"But it's a brontosaurus!"

I explained that when you ask someone to do something for you, and you throw a fit about how they do it, they aren't going to want to do anything for you again. Meg didn't hear me; she was too overwhelmed by this parental betrayal, that I should have drawn her a brontosaurus and think it was a good enough dinosaur. In this life, there are tyrannosaurs and there are brontosauruses. Obviously.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The best place for a bath

"Our child is sandy and her sheets stink, so tonight we should wash our child and her bed," I announced.
Meg: "No, we should wash child in the TUB!"

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The dino and the toothbrush

Meg brushes her own teeth, at this point, mostly. She has a dinosaur toothbrush holder which adds a lot of zest to her ablutions. Yesterday we had a discussion when I noticed a lot of... was that toothpaste?... around the teeth of the dinosaur toothbrush holder. I explained that she didn't need to brush its teeth; her toothbrush is just for her. Then I rinsed the toothpaste out of its mouth to reduce temptation. (The jobs you never expect, going into parenthood.)

This evening, toothbrushing seemed to take suspiciously long.

"You're not brushing the dinosaur's teeth, are you, Meg?"
"No... I'm just brushing the rest of him."

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Carry the backpack

"Bilbo's sword is named Sting," I told Meg.
"And what's his backpack named?"
"I don't think his backpack has a name."
Meg considered this. "I think his backpack's name is Carry."

Friday, August 09, 2013

What to wear, what to wear

I'm about eight months along, and this little one is due in about a month and a half. I am now officially bigger than I've ever been before; it's not a bad thing, except that I get up most mornings and look at my closet totally confused. Even when things fit, they don't fit like they used to, so I guess I have to recalibrate all my outfits. Things don't seem to go with each other. What does the well-dressed mama on a budget even wear for late summer? I have this irrational feeling that I should be a) covered (even in the middle), b) really stinkin' cute, and c) still look like myself. I don't want to buy much for just a month and a half, but I really would like to wear something attractive.

I used to know how to sew, but my waist doesn't seem to be where I left it and hemlines are rising and falling - like the Roman Empire, only faster - and sometimes they rise and fall again in the same skirt. Terrifying.

I still have cute shoes, though. So there.

Thursday, August 01, 2013

What does a lawyer do all day?

"He throws things at people! He throws ecces at them!" Meg

Ecce, of course, is the Latin word for "behold" or "attention." Apparently she thinks... I don't know what she thinks. Lawyers did formerly use legal Latin, and I guess documents would have started with "Ecce," but it's been a while. But at least Meg is well-versed in the tradition.

And yes, Jonathan started a new job today (!!), and one which requires absolutely no throwing of documents at people, in Latin or otherwise. It's part-time and should go through the election. He also has a couple of full-time possibilities going. We're happy!

In other news, Meg found my hair dryer... thing, the diffuser or whatever it's called. It goes on the business end and does something that's supposed to be good for doing something to your hair. (Clearly I use it all the time.) She has been sailing in laundry hampers and using our ship's wheel left over from the Tempest to steer them, so the diffuser went right on her hand for a flipper and she tried to look for a second one. I tried to persuade her to be a one-flippered Meg, like Captain Hook with his one hook, which almost convinced her.