Facebook

Some people have a terrible habit of going around narrating their own lives. It's not a nice trait. Facebook does not help.

I find myself thinking things like "I am discovering a devoted passion for raspberries" or "I am spending quality time with her guitar" (because when Facebook publishes your status you've got to put it in third person or it comes out weird).

So now most of my self-awareness follows the same passive sentence structure. I'm being trained to narrate my own life in the passive voice. Gruesome.

The only advantage to this I can think of is that it weeds out the worst excesses of purple prose because all my friends and relations will be subjected to the object of my sentence. Wit is therefore encouraged. Disturbingly enough, Facebook may actually be improving my writing skills.

Seriously: do any of the rest of you have this problem, or is it just me?

Bye, y'all. I'm going to go eat raspberries and spend quality time with my guitar.